Scotland: Not in England After All

I'm having a long, technically troubled day, and really, I wasn't going to blog at all. Then, I went to buy milk and a conversation with the cashier and bagger gave me something to write about and an excuse to post a Limmy video.

First, yes, I got into an overly long conversation with the cashier and bagger, but that's another story. Suffice it to say that the fact that I used to live in Scotland came up. Here's a rundown of the conversation - it starts with one of my favorite questions ever (lucky for me, people ask me all time!):

Cashier: "What language do they speak in Scotland?"

Bagger: "They speak English! Scotland is in England, dummy!"

Me: "Well, they speak English, but Scotland isn't IN England. They're two different countries, but they're both in the United Kingdom."

Bagger: "No, you're wrong. England is the same thing."

Mind you, I had just explained that I spent seven years living in Scotland, but what do I know? Anyway, it made me think of this Limmy video. By the way, if you don't know Limmy, he's hysterical. This probably isn't his funniest, especially if British politics aren't your bag (understandable), but you can check out more on his YouTube channel. GTA IV video - highly recommended (if you're not easily offended).

And Scotland is not in England. Please believe me.

My Olympic Moment

Not a moment of Olympic glory, mind you, but maybe the moment when it became clear I could cross "Olympics" off my list of potential careers paths. Now, I'll tell you up front that this is not one of my favorite stories, but it keeps coming up, what with this whole Olympic swimming thing going on. Plus, it IS my friend Krista's favorite story, so Krista, this one is for you. (Well, I think it's her favorite. She's also fond of one that involves a curtain, but this one is definitely up there.)

When I was about 10 years old, I joined the swim team for the first time (under duress). I was incredibly nervous at my first swim meet, but I didn't know there was anything more to it then diving in the water and swimming. In other words, no one had told me about things like false starts. So, I climbed up on the block, and when I (allegedly) heard the buzzer sound, I dove in. I swam like crazy, and I thought I was doing great - after all, when I looked all around, I couldn't even SEE any other swimmers. Then, this net like thing fell on me in the water. My god, someone was trying to sabotage me! I threw it off and kept going - and it didn't seem to cost me my lead, because I STILL couldn't see anyone. I finished the first lap, and while I was doing my flip turn, I felt hands on my shoulders and someone trying to pull me out of the pool! I couldn't believe how blatant this sabotage was getting, but I tried valiantly to fight them off. No dice - they got me half way out of the water. That's when I realized the person pulling me out of the pool was my coach, who then pointed out to me that all of the other swimmers were still standing on the blocks.

Apparently someone - allegedly me - had "false started", and they had sounded an alarm to let all the swimmers know the race had to be re-started. I didn't hear anything - nor did I know such a thing existed, so I was the only one who didn't get out of the pool. The net was some kind of line they throw down to stop errant swimmers like me. So, I had to climb out of the pool and walk back around to the blocks, crossing in front of the gathered crowd - yes, they were laughing. Then I had to get back on the block and go again.

Last place. Well, I was tired.

And I still don't really know what a false start is.

Let's Try That Again

so, i have to admit, this is blog, take two. i have another blog...somewhere. it has the same name. i abandoned it. not a good start, right? hopefully, this one will go a bit better.

so, this blog will be, kind of, whatever. stuff from other writing jobs i'm doing, day to day things, yada yada yada - you get me.

so, also, in the future, every sentence will not start with "so."

phew, now we have that awkward "first blog" of the way. that's always a relief. see you soon.