Usher Clearly Trying to Make Me Throw Up

In a collision of smarmy self importance and light rod-ness that seems to have been crafted specifically to ruin my smoothie, Usher has announced plans for a "ladies only" tour called "One Night Stand." Naturally, the venues will be "intimate" (see what he did there?). Here are some of the other things Usher had to say about the tour:

"There's only a few artists that can pull that off." (perhaps - oh wait, do you mean you?)

"The ladies like to see that masculine build."

Oh you're right there, Usher. We're gagging for it. Or just gagging. You decide. (Hint: we're just gagging.)

More good news! Usher is planning his own line of ladies' lingerie and "men's undergarments." I guess I'll now have to add "owns Usher brand underwear" to my ever growing list of man deal breakers.

Wake me up when there's a Prince Paul ladies only tour. Unlikely, yes, but THAT I'd be ok with. (Could I show my age any more than suggesting Prince Paul as a good replacement for Usher?) Or my former econ professor ladies only tour. I'm going to resist the urge to make a supply and demand joke here. It's early.

Oh, Go On Then...

Pretending that my last post didn't prompt a weekend of watching this video over and over again would be futile. On the upside, the time investment wasn't a total waste as I think I have the choreography down pat. If this leads you to dig up Horace Brown, Silk and H-Town videos, well, I can't take responsibility for that. I'm not going to confirm rumors that I watched Snow's Informer video. Let's keep some dignity.

But, what I can confirm is that if you really want to have a good time, just read the comments YouTube users post with these videos. The fact that people are still commenting on, say, a CMB video EVERY DAY is startling enough (as of writing, the last comment on this video posted above was 4 minutes ago). The things they are saying are even more fun:

"They should be called SING me badd!" - oh, well played, windowHAT.

"The anthem of the high school rapist" - ehhh, Yabrau, log off, ok?

"Now I know exactly what to do to get my man" - fingers crossed, Fruitful Mind, fingers crossed.

Oh yeah, it goes on and on. Trust me, you're not getting any work done for days. Enjoy!