I miss a lot of things about living in Scotland, but not everything. Unfortunately for me, many of the things I miss the least seem to be following to America. First it was the Beckhams. Then came Cat, Ant and Dec. If Vernon Kay comes here, I'm gone. (On the other hand, Dermot O'Leary, you'd be most welcome, and if you need some place to stay, get in touch.)
So, you can imagine my horror when MTV announced Russell Brand would be hosting the VMAs. I have a passionate, almost irrational dislike of this man. He looks as though he's been the victim of some overzealous costume department, but he hasn't - he's actively chosen this look, which he describes as "S&M Willy Wonka." The Sun twice named him Shagger of the Year, and indeed he is a reformed sex addict (allegedly). Between all of the women who are seemingly lining up to vote for Sarah Palin strictly on the basis of her ability to menstruate and the fact that enough women were willing to have sex with this man to cause him to develop an addiction to it, I'm beginning to think that the sexists have a point. My biggest problem with Russell Brand, though, is that he’s just not very funny, and in terms of British comedy, he really lets the team down. I know some people (allegedly) find him *hilarious* but some of the funniest things I’ve ever come across are things I discovered across while living in Britain, and he’s definitely not one of them. So here, a list of British things that are significantly smarter and wittier than Russell Brand:
1. Brass Eye – Oh Brass Eye – involuntary masturbation in politics (seen here), good AIDS and bad AIDS, “captain, why are you being gay with your sailors?” – Brass Eye offended a lot of people, but it was BRILLIANT - even though sometimes you knew you shouldn't really be laughing. If you like The Daily Show and The Onion, you’ll love Brass Eye, although it’s hard to imagine anyone getting away with some of the things Brass Eye did in Britain on American television (like Nonce Sense). You can find plenty more clips online and there are some DVDs floating around.
2. The Office – Yes, I know there is an American version of The Office, and I’m told it’s good. The Office was such a big thing for awhile in Britain, and I loved watching it so much, that’s hard for me to bring myself to watch the US one. After all, it may be good, but it doesn’t have Ricky Gervais dancing, so really, what’s the point? I can never quite understand why there always has to be a “remake” – why not just show the original, which was truly a masterpiece?
3. Limmy – I love Limmy. His World of Glasgow stuff is fantastic, although it’s probably a bit specific and requires some knowledge of Glasgow. I'm undecided really about how well Limmy in general works for American audiences, but check out his video blog.
4. Private Eye magazine – Somewhere between The Onion and Mad, you can get this in some places in the US. If you’ve never picked it up, check it out. For the political satire lover in all of us.
In Private Eye, they often point out unintentionally hilarious things people say: on the website today, there is a quote from a guy on Wife Swap who said, “you can’t teach an old leopard new spots.” As an aside, this reminds me of the my favorite bit of unfortunate phrasing – several years ago, a music industry newsletter that shall remain nameless contained a brief article about country star Waylon Jennings losing his foot to diabetes. Without a trace of irony, the article went on to say, “he’s taking it all in stride.” Hahahahahha!
OK, well, in the interest of wrapping things up, let’s just say:
5. Little Britain (even if they have allowed Russell Brand to make appearances)
6. League of Gentlemen (walking the line between funny and disturbing)
7. The Mighty Boosh
8. Louis Theroux
9. Extras (HBO did show this one)
10. Irvine Welsh – OK, I know Irvine Welsh doesn’t naturally fall into the category of funny things, and many of the things he writes about are actually quite tragic and depressing (and yes, smutty). But, he has made me laugh out loud many times. Spud is a good example. Remember Spud’s job interview from Trainspotting?:
I’m sure I’ve missed many things, like Father Ted and Fawlty Towers, but to me, these shows/people are things that American audiences would definitely appreciate. They’re the British equivalents of our Daily Shows, Curb Your Enthusiams, and Arrested Developments. So, I’d like to return Russell Brand to sender and get more of this stuff, please. (And what else have I missed? Let me know!)
